儿童的生命教练

Children's Life Coach Program

第十一堂课:老师与父母如何达到共同信念
Parents’ Faith & Buy In

好的,在这个章节
Alright, in this chapter

我们来探索老师与父母的关系
Let’s explore the relationship between a teacher and a parent

要让父母对我们有信心, 作为教育者,让父母对我们的工作有信心
getting the parent buy in, getting the parent to have faith in what we do 

非常重要
is very important as an educator

还有我们应该怎么做, 设定一个期望是很重要的
and how do we do that, very important is to set expectation

在我这行,通常我会得到很多常见的问题
so very often in my line, I always get the most common question is

如 “我的孩子需要多久时间才能学会游泳”
‘how long does it take for my child to be able to learn swimming?’

所以需要多久?可以在两个星期内学会吗?
so how long? can it be done in two weeks? 

可以在三个星期内学会吗?
can we done in three months?

然而,老师最长会回复的答案是
and usually the most common answer that the teacher always give is

这取决于学生,很多老师就会说到这就停止了
it depends and most teacher stop there

如果您说取决于,是没错的
if you say depends, it’s true 

因为它是真的取决于个人的学习,能力,
because it depends on the individual’s learning, capability,

他们的协调,专注,词汇, 有很多东西要考虑
their coordination, their focus, their vocabulary there’s a lot of things to think about

但我相信,身为一位老师, 我们可以尽可能的提供更多的信息,
but I believe as a teacher, we can give as much information as we can,

很多的因素我们也可以给范围
as much elements as possible and  we can give a range

打个比方,一位8岁的小孩, 我有一位八岁的小孩,就说
so for example, if someone like 8 years oldI have an 8 years old child and said

“学会游泳需要多久时间?”
“How long does it take to be able to swim?”

那我就会说:“如果是基本的游泳,
so I will say “if it’s just basic swimming, to be able to swim

学会游到50米是需要12堂课, 12到最多20堂
let’s say 50 meters, it could take about 12 classes, 12 to maximum 20 classes 

取决于他能多块提取
depending on how fast he can pick up

给予一个范围然后,我也说道我只能根据平均数据统计
giving a range, and I say I can only give you this estimate

给予您这样的预算,可是我还是得看看她的进展先”
based on the average statistic, but I still need to access first”

当我和他有更多的课, 在第二或第三堂课时
when I have more classes with him on the second class or third class

我就能给予您更小的范围
I can give you a more shorter range

这是老师应该为父母设的期望
this is something that an expectation that a teacher needs to set for the parent

有时,父母会向前来和我说我的孩子不能游泳
sometimes the parent will come to me and say my kid can’t swim 

可是,我希望他能在下个月前学会蝴蝶似游泳
but I want him to be able to swim butterfly by the next month

做得到吗? 这有点困难
can I get that? it is really hard 

因为有时候不是父母期望过高
because sometimes it’s not that parent have too high expectation

有时候父母不知道那步骤是什么
it’s just sometimes parent doesn’t know what is the step by step

基础是什么,下一步是什么
what is the foundation, what’s the next part

他们不知道自己问的问题就如在问那学生能飞吗?
they didn’t know what they are asking is like can the student fly?

在那学生能跑,能走之前
before they can even run, they can even walk

所以,有时候我们应该分享旅程来设定期望
so, sometimes we have to set the expectation by sharing the journey 

首先,学生需要对水没恐惧
so first, the student needs to be able to not be afraid of water 

我们需要让他们明白水是怎样的
we need to get them to understand how does the water 

然后才让他们学习基础
then we get them to learn about basic

只是踢水和浮起来呼吸空气
just paddling and coming up for air

不需划水知道他们感到舒适
no strokes yet as they are comfortable,

能够游短距离的时候那我们就会进入蛙式
able to swim short distance then we will look into the breaststroke,

一旦他们可以掌握蛙式,他们就可以向后游
as they can master breaststroke, they able to flow in the back

然后缓下
then freeze down

所以当我们指出那旅程时
so if we point out this journey 

到最后,您会看到蝴蝶似的目的
at the end of the day, you can meet the goal of butterfly

还有那进度表
and what’s the timeline 

那至少父母会有更多的了解
then at least parent will have a little bit more understanding

然后设定老师与家长双方的期望是很重要的
and, setting expectation from both teacher and parent is also very important

因为,有时父母的目标对于老师来说是很复杂的
because sometimes the parent’s goal must be complicated to the teacher

我有位来自海外的学生
so I have student that come all the way from overseas,

他说 我们只是来旅游而已还有,我们只有两个星期
and said, we are here only for holiday and we only have two weeks

我的目标是,因为我们回去以后我的小孩需要进入
my goal is, because when we go back my kids need to enter a certain school 

需要基本游泳技能的学校
that require a basic swimming skill

所以,我至少知道他们的需求所在
so at least I know that is the requirement for that

我可以在两个星期内为此而安排一个目标定制
I can custom make what I teach towards that goal within two weeks

身为一位老师,我也会设定一个期望
and for teacher, I need to set  an expectation

我可以在两个星期内教会他可是,我需要他每天至少有两个小时
I can do that in two weeks however, I need him at least two hours a day

一个星期五天,除了学习, 我希望他能够继续排练
five days a week and other than learning I want him to be able to practice on his on 

一天至少一小时所以如果我设定了这个期望,他们能够达成的话
for at least one hour a day”  so if I set that expectation, they can meet that

那我会说,我可以满足您的条件
then I say, I can meet your condition

要不然,我不能或者我对他的目标会降低
if not, I can’t or I have a lower goal for him

所以,那些期望会消除很多误会
so those expectation takes away a lot of misunderstanding,

消除很多父母对此事缺乏的信心消除很多的不耐烦
takes away a lot of lack of faith for the parent takes away a lot of impatient

我有一个很好的例子是我很喜欢建立好那基础
so, a good example that I have was I like to build a good foundation

即使有时候我见到学生
so, even sometimes when I see a student,

他们从其他学校学习,然后过来找我·
they learn from another school and they come to me

他们可以游一个25米距离的泳
and they really can swim let’s say 25 meters

但是,我发现他们的信心很低
but I realize the confidence is so low

没那站起来的信心
confidence of being able to stand up is not there

我就会带他们到小孩子的泳池
I would bring them to a baby pool

为了让他们能够独立地站起来
to just be able to independently stand up on their own

当父母看到的第一眼
so when parents look at it one look, 

他们就问道:“为什么您带我的孩子到小孩的泳池?
they would say: “hey, why are you bringing my kid to the baby pool,

他已经会游泳了。塔努应该在小孩的泳池里”
he can already swim. He shouldn’t be in a baby pool.”

有时候他们会干扰到那堂课
so sometimes, they will interfere with class

所以,老师与父母的沟通是很重要的
so, it’s very important sometimes for the teacher to talk to the parents,

“我会带他们到小孩子的泳池是因为。。”
“I will bring him to the baby pool because… “

让他们知道您的用意然后也让他们知道您会多久执行一次
share your reason why and share how frequently you will do this

从中,父母就会明白您的用意
and from there, if the parent is able to understand your why

那就会是一个很好的工作关系
then it would be a very good working relationship

到最后,我相信您也不希望父母
end of the day, ideally you don’t want the parent 

“垂下您的脖子”,去到泳池里然后告诉您
>to breath down your neck, go into the pool and tell you

“不,不,不,努力学习,不要这样做,不要那样做听老师的话”
“eh no no no, work harder, don’t do this, don’t do that, listen to your teacher.”

您会希望父母能远离您,不干涉您所要做的一切
you want the parent to stay out of the whatever you are doing

这样的话,您就能完全控制环境除非您的活动涉及到父母
so you can fully control the environment unless your module involved the parent

所以,沟通为了有更好的旅程,有更好的元素分解
so, communicate that have better journey,  have better elements break down 

关于父母需要知道的这样,他们就能对您充满信心
about what the parent needs to know so they can have full faith in you

但是, 身为父母的也应该分享某些策略也很重要
however, when it comes to parents it is also very important to share certain strategies 

您已经尝试过的
that you think you have tried before 

您觉得失败的策略给老师
that you’d think that have failed before to the teacher 

因为有时这些都会帮助到老师
because sometimes it helps 

老师不是完美的
teachers are not perfect

如果老师教您一个科目,
it does not mean that if the teacher teaches you a subject

不代表他会全部东西
means that he knows everything about it

或则他是世界上最好的教育者
or even he’s the best educator in the world

甚至老师一直都在不断学习
even teachers are continuously learning all the time

所以,我想说我最好的老师是我的父母
so I would say my best teachers are my parent

因为有很多次父母来找我说
because there are many times parents come to me and say

这对我的孩子很好,这无效
this work well for my child, this doesn’t work well

这个老师试过了,这个老师试过那个了
this teacher had tried this, this teacher had tried that

从交谈中,我得到很多的想法
I have gotten a lot of ideas from those interactions with parent

所以,身为一位老师,记得那些问您很多问题的父母
so, as a teacher, remember the parent that ask you the most questions

记得他们不是最烦人的
remember they are not the most annoying one

他们(父母)看似如此为何他们会这样,他们为什么这么多问题
it may seem as so how come, why are they bargain with so many questions

为什么他们总是“垂下您的脖子”
why are they bringing down your neck so many times

其实他们是最有价值的客户
they are actually the most valuable customer

因为他们可以教会您很多
because they can teach you a lot

所以我最喜欢的父母之一是
so one of my most favorite parents is

这位女士,当她来找我时几乎每堂课她都会与教练
this lady when she comes to me and updates her progress with the coach

一起更新她的进度有时也会与我分享如何做得更好
almost every single session and sometimes share with me how could I do better

那小孩的进展如何我喜欢说的报告
how’s the kid progressing? I love listening to her reports

那不是每个父母都会做的那其实帮助我了解
that’s not many parents that does that but that helps me is to get me to see

我的老师在想些什么
what is my teacher thinking

我训练的教育者在想什么 他们在哪个层次
what is the educator that I am training, whats’ the level they are at

他们如何解决某些问题
how are they solving the certain problems

从中,我在领导方面学到很多
and from there, I get to learn a lot in term of leading my team,

在提供一些有关如何为孩子们解决问题的技巧
in term of giving some tips on how to solve the problem for the children

那些都是很有价值的知识
and those are very valuable information

现在,我和父母之间
and now we are like great friend

就像好朋友似的
within me and the parent

这些资讯也教会了我作为父母有时,我需要去找父母说
and this teaches me just as a parent too, sometimes I need to go to the parent and said

“我们可以尝试这个策略吗?” “您对于这个策略有什么看法?”
“probably can we try this strategy?” “what do you think about this strategy?”

我们尽量不干扰老师的方法
ideally, we try not to interfere with the teacher’s methods

但是,有时候我们可以给予建议vbut sometimes we can suggest

您不要说:“我要您这样做”
ideally, you don’t say: “I want you to do this”

有时候,您说:“您对此建议有何看法?”
sometimes you said: “what do you think about that”

对于减少惩罚,您有什么看法?
what do you think about minimizing the punishment

您对于奖励,对于激励有什么看法
what do you think about using this as a carrot, using this as an incentive

所以,当我们在给予建议时我可得知老师的看法
so when we give suggestion, we get to listen from the teacher’s point of view

有时,老师会说:“我不用这个因为。。。”
sometimes teacher said: “I am not using this because..”

当他们给出解释时,父母开始学习
when they give the explanation as parent get to learn

原来这是老师的策略
ah! that’s the teacher’s strategy,

我需要对此有信心我需要给予多一点的时间
I need to have a bit more faith, I need to give a bit more time

所以,这是老师与家长之间很好的互相沟通, 尝试那个吧
so, this is a good two way communication between the teacher and the parent try that

那我们接下来应该做些什么? 如果您是一位教育者
so what can we do next? if you are an educator,

尝试 尽可能的与父母沟通
try communicating to the parent as frequently as you can

尝试 分享和问他们对于孩子的期望
try just share, ask about what is their expectation of their child

您认为您的孩子进展得如何? 身为一位教师的我有什么可以进步的地方
how do you think your child is doing? anything that I can improve as an educator

如果您是父母的话,尝试偶尔与您的老师检查
if you are a parent, try checking in with your teacher once a while 

如果您还没做到尝试去问您的孩子的进展
if you haven’t done so try asking about how’s my kid doing?

有什么策略是我能在家应用的以便能帮助他变得更好
what are the strategies that I can apply at home that can help him better

如果我没有那么多的时间,那我有什么策略是可替代的
if I don’t have that much time for a certain time, what’s my alternative?

尝试和孩子的老师讨论这样您就能得到不一样的看法
try discussing with your teacher and sometimes you will get some new insight

您将会学到很多有关您孩子的新知识
you will be able to learn something new about your child

您将会学到一些身为父母可以做的新知识
you will be able to learn something that you can do as a parent

身为一位老师的您也可以使用到那会帮助很多
you can do as a teacher that helps a lot

沟通是件非常小的事情但也是非常有影响力的
that communication is something small but very impactful 

尝试吧!
try!

重点回顾

设定老师和家长的期望是非常重要的
It is very important to set expectation from both teacher and parent

那些期望会消除很多误会,父母缺乏的信心和不耐烦。
Those expectation takes away a lot of misunderstanding, lack of faith in parent and impatient.

有效设定期望的步骤
Steps to set expectation effectively

1. 指出旅程
    Point out the journey


2. 设置目标
    Set the goal


3. 创建进度表
    Create timeline


4. 设定双方期望 (老师和家长)
    Setting both teacher and parent expectation

指出旅程
Point out the journey

– 孩子们将经历的旅程是什么?
What is the journey that children will go through?


– 提供范围,提供经验的平均数据统计。这是老师应该为父母设的期望。
Give a range, Give an average statistic based on past experience. This is expectation that a teacher needs to set for the parent.

设置目标
Set the goal

– 要达到什么目标?
What is the goal to achieve?

创建进度表
Create timeline

– 观察孩子的进度表。
Child’s progress timeline for monitoring.

设定双方期望 (老师和家长)
Setting both teacher and parent expectation

– 什么是老师需要家长的配合的以达到家长的期望?
What cooperation needed by teacher from parent to meet parent’s expectations? 


– 什么信息是家长可以提供老师以帮助老师更好的策划教学?
What information can be provided by parent to teacher to help teacher to plan for better teaching?

老师与父母的沟通是很重要的
Communication between teacher and parents are important

与父母分享老师的用意和教学策略。那就会是一个很好的工作关系。
Share with parents the reason why and what is your strategy. It would be a very good working relationship.

家长与老师分享经验也很重要
It is also very important for parents to share their past experience to teacher

它可以帮助老师为您的孩子制定更有效的教学策略。
it helps teacher to create more effective strategy for your children.

如果您是一位教育者
If you are an educator

1. 与父母沟通
    Communicate with parents

2. 分享和问他们对孩子的期望
    Share and ask what is their expectation of their child

3.询问父母对孩子进度的感受
    How do they think their child is doing

4. 想一想身为教师,有什么是可以进步的地方
    Think about anything that can be improve as an educator

如果您是父母
If you are a parent

1. 尝试偶尔与孩子的老师沟通
    Try checking in with children’s teacher once a while 

2. 尝试去问您的孩子的进展
    Try asking about how’s my kid doing?

3. 询问老师能在家应用的策略,以便能帮助孩子变得更好
    What strategies can be apply at home that can help children better

4. 如果我没有那么多的时间,有什么策略是可替代的?
     If I don’t have much time, what’s my alternative?

5. 尝试和孩子的老师讨论
    Try discussing with your teacher

下一堂课:

其他主题教学影片

儿童的生命教练 叶友泉 网络课程

Children’s Life Coach Program

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